Here little toner, here little toner.

No toner.

I called Xerox to follow up AGAIN. I talked with a charming gal (Read: sassy irate employee). She informed me that according to her little screen there was no such thing as a "back-order" for the model I need. And asked why was there a problem. Because 1. I have no toner! 2. I've called 3 times and 3. No one @ Xerox seems to give me good information.

Oh yes, I see, I must have made this all up, just a little game in my own little head. I am so desperate for conversation that I need to call Xerox to talk to someone.

I'd much rather talk to the DMV.

I explained that she is now number 3, as in the third person I have called to get info on this bloody order. No one has been able to provide me with a tracking number or a reasonable date of delivery. She proceeded to tell me that Xerox does not guarantee delivery dates, blah, blah, blah, that I must have talked to someone that didn't know what they were doing, blah, blah, blah. Except that there is consistency. I am told every time that it has been shipped and will arrive in 3-5 days.

Turns out our order hasn't been shipped. (HAHAHAHA! Now that is so funny. The best joke ever.) It seems I must have artificially placed an order weeks ago. What kind of business operates like this?

My idea of a Xerox brainstorm session
Xerox decision maker1: "Hey I have an idea. When someone places an order let's just not ship it. That way they will have to call and call and waste their time."

Xerox decision maker 2: "Yeah, good idea. Imagine the $$$ we can save by not shipping"

Xerox decision maker 1: "Right! We really want to make sure that they Need the product. There's no sense in being efficient."

Xerox decision maker 2: "Precisely. Why should it be easy for the consumer?"

Both erupt in maniacal laughter.

Jerks.

Calgon take me away!